Living in a grateful world

Be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you,

for they have reinforced your determination.

Be grateful to those who have deceived you,

for they have deepened your sight.

Be grateful to those who have hit you,

for they have reduced your karmic obstacles.

Be grateful to those who have abandoned you,

for they have taught you to be independent.

Be grateful to those who have made you stumble,

for they have strengthened your ability.

Be grateful to those who have denounced you,

for they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

Be grateful to those who have made you Firm and Resolute and helped in your Achievement.

Today is our 2nd year anniversary. I thought of going to UPM to dine with him. Sadly I just a blurr driver. I don't know how to go. huh...

End up being in college from 8am until 6pm. Experimenting on breads again. The result was not as good as the day before. The breads were over proof due to the high amount of yeast. The croissants were not flaky as the oven is not high enough and we were using only normal butter.Anyway the process was fun. ;P

Another round of meeting tomorrow. haih...another stab today. Our dearest assistant chef redo the hierarchy which I did weeks ago. And my place is under him... Can he be kind enough to sms me whether I did it anot? I am just for display or I am invisible? I wish i could say I am thin enough to be unnoticeable. haha... I am getting crazy soon...

Yup. 2 years of relationship. Not that long and not that short. Too much things happened in this 2 years. And things even happened before this 2 years. Thanks ney for being by my side, shower me with love and care. Thanks for being patience with me and my family. There is too much things I want to say to you. But I would like to keep it just for you and I. Luv you ney. muacks...

why assign it to me when someone else is doing it?????????????

I had been longing to post about my freedom, free from recipe findings, requisitions and assignments. Finally my fifth semester is end today. wahaha...Too bad to say my mood is totally ruined by today meeting.

Its been months since I knew the secretary had to do the timetable for Pm module. And Mr Oliver assigned it to me officially today.

I had a rough idea on how to allocate the 52 persons. But our dearest assistant chef does not seems to like it and insist on his. It is not a big deal if he doesn't like it. The thing matters is his attitude. He should at least show some respect to me since the task is assigned to me. He even showed no respect to the chairperson and other leaders.

Ah... I am pissed off

cheap cheap fish. come on buy some fish...

I was speechless when you mentioned that I only care for you and myself. I admit about my ignorance and lack of care to my family. But you sounds as if you do not know what happened.

Who am I to care? I am their daughter and the eldest sister.

Why should I care? Because we are a family.

How could I care?.......................

I am just like a tenant here with free room, free streamyx, free food and free laundry service. When I am needed, I am their sister. When they do not need me, I am miss nobody.

How long did she call my name? She used 'someone' to refer to me.

This is worse. I am just a 'hxx yan' and not a sis. huh...

I hardly bake or cook anything since last year. It had became an unhealed wound for me. They don't really like western stuff and dairy products especially butter. So I made them a orange sponge cake. Nobody ever bother to touch it until the day I dumped it. When I asked, they replied kindly "Nobody touch it. So I assume it is sucks". So now onwards I will do things for myself. Finish it myself or another meal for Mr. Garbage Bin.

It wasn't as if I never try to change the situation now. I really put effort to mend our relationship. End up it is still the same. I'm a simple girl. I just some love and care.

Perhaps I should change my blog domain and title.

Vivien, the fishmonger.

Because I sel-fish...

Everyday I will ask myself, will I be alive tomorrow?

I was so boring until I sat down to watch the movie that my bro was watching. I missed almost half of the movie. So nothing much to comment about it. But there was a phrase that I cant forget.

Everyday I will ask myself, will I be alive tomorrow?

Nothing special about that phrase right? But it made me think.
Every now and then I will plan for things that will arrive soon. It could simply your birthday, our anniversary, my industrial raining or perhaps my employment. I could hardly ask myself what will happen tomorrow.

We all knew life is fragile but how fragile it could be? How near we are to death? Haha...I sounds so depressed. What I am trying to say is just 'what is the purpose of planning if we don't even have a tomorrow'.

i am happy

I feel so happy today...Nothing really special...Just an ordinary day...My tyre puncture with no spare tyre...Dinner at Uncle's house...Rushing my sop...

Anyway I am just happy..without any reason...

valentine day

Today is Valentine's Day. A day for lovers....Is it a big deal if you are single or your lover can't make it for you?

As usual Uncle is busy with his stuff. Although I feel a bit lonely but no big deal.

Let make it this way. I love myself. So why can't I celebrate it alone? What could be better than doing something I like? This hectic semester left no time for me to watch drama. At last today I finished the 82 episods drama, The Gem of Life. wahaha...so happy. I like Jessice so much. Sometimes what she does is not right but I can understand why she does it. Perhaps we are the same kind of person.

Did I mention I had a suprise today? Unexpected.

Which Part Of Chinese New Year You Miss The MOST?

As what Justin post in his blog, there are plenty of stuffs we miss in Chinese New Year.

Here are the things he listed out:hometown delicacies
angpau aka red packets
firecrackers

I had shortlisted some other stuffs which happens only during Chinese New Year.mandarin
福
lion dance

yee sang

For me, there is one thing I miss the most: cappuccino cookies.

It is a routine whereby my dad will bring us to visit his ex-boss during cny. This is how we fall in love with this yummilicious cookies. The ex-boss wife is kind enough to order it purposely for us each year. My entire family love it so much.

However the one she bought for us this year is not the one we like.

Disappointed... I miss it so much...

new sem

5th Jan 2009, the beginning of my new semester. I thought it will a simple meeting with academic advisor and followed up by bakery class with Mr Fami (i wish someone else).

My wish was fulfilled as Mr Mike Flemming form Cereal Tech Pte Ltd, Singapore was here to teach us bakery. I had heard about him since my first semester. Hehe...so excited.

Least the I realise it was like an intensive class for a week and we will be examined on sat. Omg... It reminded me of PMR, SPM and even STPM. The week before examination will only be seminars, seminars and seminars. Terrible time. Haha...

So for the whole week we were dealing with bread, bread and bread. I'm not a fan of bread but I was forced to tuck those carb into my stomach everyday. Luckily the last two classes was on croissant, danish and short pastry. The croissants and quiche really gave me a kick to my taste palette. Yummilicious.... I am craving for more croissants.

This semester is a really a mess. I am having 7 subjects in a short sem, which mean I will be having two classes of each subject in a week. For me it is too hectic as I was spoilt by last sem, 3 subjects for a long sem. In another words, I don't have time to work. This equal to no money to sing k, shopping ......... and where I find money for my petrol?

Did I mention I drive to college? Yup. I start to drive to KDU. It is scary because I am not skillful enough and I am driving alone, without Uncle Chow.

ps. I am praying hard for no accident as I no longer work. Lets not forget to pray for more angpau (money, not the envelope). I need to pay petrol ma...

i miss u...

Tomorrow I am waiting for is finally arrived. I had been waiting desperately for 5th January 2009 to arrive. This is the day for schools to reopen. So I can have some peace in this house.

Sadly I forgotten that my class commence at the same time and Uncle Chow is returning to UPM too... (T.T)

Finally he went back to UPM and I feel so sad to depart with him. You might think I am too much. UPM is just at Serdang. Couple of miles from KL. I can easily reach there by KTM or perhaps drive there? But what matters to me now is not distance.

Love grows out of chance...

Meeting a mere glance and then a smile...

Touches the heart in many ways!

Isn't it incredible how we have been?

From being perfect strangers,

To whom we're today,

Perfect couple in complete harmony,

With each other's thoughts, dreams and plans...

Your love isn't a big thing,

It is a million little things,

You gave me reason...

to smile,

to dream,

to be happy,

You really mean a lot to me...

It must be telepathy...

For whenever...

I'm down and blue...

You bring on the sun,

And lift my spirits,

A shoulder to lean on,

An all-weather shelter,

Anytime, day or night...

May Year 2009 Brings Me Lots Of Luck & Happiness....

Year 2008 had finally ended. The year started out pretty hard while my last few months were filled with exciting days of both work and personal. Over the holiday season last December I had great time with Uncle Chow. In fact I am in such a good mood to start 2009 with a fresh list of new year resolutions! Here goes...

#1 Balance out my time. Must make a bigger fraction of time for my grandma and god family. Had been giving lesser attention to them last year. Lets not to forget my friends too.

#2 Eat healthier. Used to limit my carb intake and replace it with higher intake of protein. I hardly notice I had tucked in more saturated fats in my body. Perhaps more veggies and fruits??

#3 Fight the bulge. Had been crawling under my mattress for weeks. It's time to expose to more sunlight. Hopefully by work out more I can reduce few inches from my butt.

#4 Learn mandarin. Said that million of times. Maybe 2009 bring me determination.

#5 Be a better driver. No accident please.

#6 Polish my pastry skills. "Leslie wait for me!!" Haha...

.

.

.

#XX Make him sayang me more. wahaha.... And build better relationship with his family.

2009, here I come....

08 things for the last month of 2008

#1 Work at pastry kitchen. Although it is only for 2 days indeed I learnt something. And I didn't feel gan cheong anymore when I face Leslie. wahaha....

#2 Celebrate Christmas. Actually I wasn't celebrating this year. I didn't go to church as which I agreed to go with Win Ann. I just prepare some fruit cake and gingerbread for family and friends. Hope they enjoy it.

#3 Dinner with Uncle Chow and family. Once at his house and once at a korean bbq restaurant. Although it wasn't my first time to dine with them but I still... Perhaps I am too shy. *grin* Nobody seems to believe this statement.
#4 Wash my car. I never wash car for my whole life.

#5 Drive alone. Credits go to Win Ann as she needs to borrow my car. I was forced to drive to her house. Anyhow I get my courage to drive alone already. Credits also got to Uncle Chow for his accompaniment. Pity him to train me and get scold by me. ;P

#6 Shopping for chinese new year. I kinda lost the shopaholic part of me recently. I guess it is coming back to me bit by bit. I still need to collect some stuff for chinese new year.

#7 Get a pair of new spec.

#8 Finally I got my hair cut. A brand new year with a new hairstyle.

相处好，同住难'

There is a saying '相处好，同住难'. For me it is very very true.

She had spent almost half of her life and I had spent my whole life, 21 years precisely to communicate with one another in order to live in peace. However it wasn't helping at all. We never like each other. We are just like land mine. You are safe if you mind your own business but you better be careful once you try to meddle with others' business.

Unexpectedly our relationship suddenly became better since I plan to move into hostel last year. We started to talk and care for one another. This condition did not last long. I moved back few months ago as my class was not as hectic as before.

One morning she woke me in order for me to practise driving. I refused to wake as I was too tired from working the day before. I did raise my voice because I hate to do thing last minute. I didn't expect she teaches me as she hardly volunteer to teach me and she did not tell me beforehand.

When I woke, I apologised to her and ask for her forgiveness. She shouted at me and said that she wouldn't teach me anymore. I thought she might need some time to cool down but since that we never talk again.

She never like me since I was still a child. She always talked bad about me in front of everyone, including my siblings. Hence I hardly get any respect from my siblings even though I am the eldest. Can you imagine how I feel when your sister call you 'hai yan'?

There is a saying which I quite agree. It said that she felt my dad pour more attention and love into me compare to her. Imagine I am their first baby. Of course my dad will very sayang me. Anyway treat me bad or I should say not-so-good can't make my dad love you more k?

How I wish I have a better mum... I really jealous when my friends mention about their mum. They can chat about everything. Looking at myself. I feel like an ostrich in this house. I used to fight back. Nowadays I will only keep myself away because I don't want my dad to stuck in the middle.

At the end I can only spilt everything over him. He advised plenty of times to back off and take the first move. But I have my ego. I can't let go my pride as I did apologised.

3 things...

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back:
(1) Time
(2) Words
(3) Opportunity


Three things in life that can destroy a person:
(1) Anger
(2) Pride
(3) Unforgiveness


Three things in life that you should never lose:
(1) Hope
(2) Peace
(3) Honesty


Three things in life that are most valuable:
(1) Love
(2) Family & Friends
(3) Kindness


Three things in life that are never certain:
(1) Fortune
(2) Success
(3) Dreams


Three things that make a person:
(1) Commitment
(2) Sincerity
(3) Hard work

TAGGGGG...

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Starting time : 2:28pm

Name : pooi wen aka vivien
Sisters : 2
Brothers : 1
Shoe size : 6?
Height : 163?
Where do you live : kay elle
Favorite drinks : coffee (used t0 be a coffee addict)
Favorite breakfast : HL milk
Have you ever been on a plane : nope...but fong fei gei for quite few times
Swam in the ocean : yup
Fallen asleep in school : i love fishing in class
Broken someones heart : wat do u think?
Fell off your chair : no idea
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : nope... he will call when he feel like calling me
Saved e-mails : nope...im too lazy
What is your room like : junk room ps. those wasn't my stuff
What's right beside you : a big bottle of water
What is the last thing you ate : J. Co doughnuts for my breakfast
Ever had chicken pox : yup. when im in primary
Stitches : never...
Broken nose : no thanks
Do you believe in love at first sight : used to believe once upon a time ago but it hardly works
Like picnics : i will melt uncer the sun
Who was the last person you danced with : ...
Last made you smile : someone
You last yelled at : bitch
Talk to someone you like : everyday
Kissed anyone : do i need to answer?
Get sick : sick-ing
Talked to an ex : we are still friend
Miss someone : everyday... every hour... every minute... every second...
Do you sleep with stuffed animals : i just got a single bed
What's under your bed : bitch
Who do you really hate : bitch
What time is it now : 2.48pm

RANDOMS

Q : Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A : yup
Q : Do you have any siblings?
A : 3
Q : Do you want children?
A : yup. i love children
Q : Do you smile often?
A : erm... depends
Q : Do you like your hand-writing?
A : of course. my very personal hand writing
Q : Are your toenails painted?
A : nope
Q : Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in?
A : someone
Q : What colour shirt are you wearing?
A : white
Q : What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday?
A: eating i guess
Q : I can't wait to?
A : i dont hope time pass so fast
Q : When did you cry last?
A : not long ago
Q : Are you a friendly person?
A : depends on mood
Q : Do you have any pets?
A : oh my god. i hate animals
Q : Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
A : in his own house?
Q : Did the last person you held hands with you mean anything to you now?
A : he is my everything
Q : Do you sleep with the TV on?
A : nope... waste electricity
Q : What are you doing right now?
A : making wantan
Q : Have you ever crawled through a window?
A : ha? never
Q : Can you handle the truth?
A : depends
Q : Are you closer to your mother or father?
A : erm... wat a hard question
Q : Who was the last person you cried in front of?
A : someone
Q : How many people can you say you've really loved?
A : never count tat
Q : Do you eat healthy?
A : sometimes
Q : Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
A : yes. only as memory
Q : Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
A : plenty of times
Q: How often do you go to church?
A : erm... once a year
Q : If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?
A : someone
Q : Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
A : erm... quiet wen im alone
Q : Are you confident?
A : okokla

THINGS YOU DID 8 YEARS AGO...
* study
* gap chai???

THINGS ON MY TO DO LIST TODAY.
* go driving
* do mask
* clean my desk
* watch dvds

THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE A BILLIONAIRE
* move out from my house
* shopping
* travel
* invest for more moneys

~~~Since I am not tagged by anyone, so I wont tag anyone~~~

Well I really take a long time to update my blog. Ya... I admit I am lazy.

As I have nothing to do yesterday, I suddenly took a carrot from the fridge and do some carving. I have no idea why I do that. It is just... no idea. Due to the lack of practise, my carving skills is terrible. I can't even come out with a simple flower. Huh...

Once I found a chef who is willing to share all his knowledge about carving and food art with me. He taught me how to turn a carrot into shapes like rose, parrot, goldfish, rabbit etc. He even taught me how to make human figure using flour.

Apart of sharing his knowledge with me, he treats me very good, or I should say extraordinary good. And it led to gossips, gossips and gossips. Actually gossips made no harm, but I started to avoid him. He had no negative thought or bad intention and I knew it very well. Because of Candy, I feel uncomfortable when a guy treat me toooooo good.

Later on, he left KLCC. I promised to visit him at his new working place and yet I broke my promise. We hardly keep in touch until recently, he flew to Indonesia.

I feel bad for the way I treat him and also sorry for my ignorance. The word which can describe my feeling now is only 'regret'.

by vivien: left and center

when you share your sadness with your friend, it will be halved...

when you share your happiness with your friend, it will be doubled...

GINGERBREAD

Honestly I do not know much about gingerbread. I just know that it is something related to Christmas and there is a gingerbread man in a computer-animated American comedy film, Shrek.

As for our assignment, we need to do something with gingerbread, let it be a gingerbread house or anything. You can't believe how creative is our group to come with ideas like laptop, toolbox etc. At last we all agreed to use Yik Hoong's idea, which is a merry-go-round.

our inspiration

brainstorming...

the incomplete model

(by vivien)

brainstorming again...

with lots of luv from vivien

isn't our horse-y (马儿) adorable?

1st attempt with biscuit
(it gets soft after awhile)

2nd attempt with bamboo skewer
(it broke into two as it is too skinny)

finally with chopstick

the burnt horse
by yik hoong

the finish product

do you want to join stephen chow and cj7 for fun?

our effort...

Before that I thought making something from gingerbread is not that hard. I guess it will be more or less like sticking some card box with glue. However it is absolutely different. The gingerbread was soft and the royal icing was not sticking.

We started with baking at 1pm. We expected it to be finished at least 8pm but actual time is 6am. There were countless time we get frustrated especially when things do not turn as what we planned.

I really appreciate all the effort and support we gave one another during the whole assignment. I am not sure how it will turn to be without you guys.

Good work everyone. Thanks a lot...

There was one time I chat with Chef Alex. We were so enjoy talking about travelling. He was willingly to share his exprience in other countries.Out of sudden, he ask me a question. "Which is the place you most wanted to go now?", asked him.

My mind was blank out. I asked myself a lot of questions.

Do I want to go Hong Kong to eat dim sum now?

Do I want to go Japan to see sakura now?

Do I want to go Maldives for scuba diving now?

.

.

.

.

the questions go on.

Finally I found my answer.

The destination is not the main factor for me.

The main factor is the one who go with me.

With ney by my side, everywhere turns to be extraordinary.

Ps. I very miss those time in Redang...

Only love let us see ordinary things in an extraordinary
way...

MY BIRTHDAY

MY BIG DAY???

Haiyoyo... Everyone is urging me for my birthday post. I know I take ages to upload my post but why so gan cheong? Chill my dear.

I was in bad mood for few days before my birthday. Why? Because he forgotten our anniversary. He even told me that he can only celebrate my birthday during the coming raya holiday; ie. a lonely 21st birthday.

22 Sept 08, two days before my bday - I am so moody. I do not feel like doing anything during international cooking class. Guess what... I choose the easiest dish to cook. Shame on me.
PS. I would like to apologise to CULA 10 for screwing their survey form. However several things is truly from the bottom of my heart. The service now is really so-so la. Btw you can ignore the party balloon and Peking duck roll.

23 Sept 08, my bday eve - All the heartache he gave me it was just a lie. He suprise me when he appears in front of my house with a bouquet of flowers... And the story goes on.

my birthday celebration with my beloved

first bouquet of flowers from him

did my eyes speak for me? i'm so touchedhe know clearly what is my favourite flowers

necklace from him

the last bud finally bloom

I am very touched until I do not know what can I say. I guess this is the main reason it takes so long for me to upload this post.

He took a very long time to plan such a wonderful birthday celebration for me as he is not a romantic guy. It really suprised me when he told me his whole family about it. He even asked Ing's opinion. He tried to put so much effort and yet he get all the blame and scolding from me. I am really sorry.

Ney...I am very grateful for all the things you had done. Even though it is only few lines here, but every details will remain in our hearts. Thanks ney for doing so much things for my birthday. Lots of hugs and kisses for you... muacksssss.......

24 Sept 08, my bday - The day has come. The day I start to be responsible for everything I do. huh...scary right? However I am officially legal for clubbing and gambling. wahaha...

Auntie Emily and Uncle Yik Hoong ah... thanks for pretending that you guys had forgotten my birthday and no present for me. SS king and queen really a good actor and actress. Haha...

from Emily and Yik Hoong

from justin, pui yee and melanie

My ss group so sayang me. Of course won't forget my big day, right? Thanks for all the presents.

Not to forget those greetings and blessings from everyone. Thanks go to choon shean, chan yew, kar meng, jia teng, yik hoong, siu hong, keng hou, pui yee, ju ee, win ann and so on...(too much to be named) for remembering my birthday. Specially thanks go to neo, suet yeng and sanjay too.

THANKS A LOT.... Muacks...